Real Headlines that Sound Like Mad Libs

I forgot I had started this post until the osprey headline. I’ll keep adding new ones at the top as I find them. There is nothing erudite here; these just all cracked me up.

January 26, 2018: Curlers upset with American Airlines after agent allegedly denies curling is a sport.

January 10, 2018: Charlie Daniels Issues Grim Warning to Taco Bell about the Illuminati. (I find this one disappointing because it’s not really an article; it’s just paraphrasing a tweet. But the headline is gold.)

Also January 10, 2018: Alligators in North Carolina are trapped in swamp ice–but they’re OK

January 6, 2018: Aggressive wild turkeys in Rocky River interfere with mail delivery (H/T Sarah Skwire)

November 17, 2017: Gene Simmons Banned for Life by Fox News (H/T Derek Nestell)

May 28, 2017: Osprey rescued after toe caught in clam. Photo courtesy of Thomas Krueger, who posted it from his local paper. Online news story is here, but the print headline is so much better.

April 18, 2017: Bewildered Beaver Becomes Accidental Leader of 150 Curious Cows

September 8, 2016: Errant Cannon Fire from Niagara Deflates World’s Largest Rubber Duck

July 12, 2016: US government plans to use drones to fire vaccine-laced M&Ms near endangered ferrets